I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
