woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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