at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
