I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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