Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
