True but thats because hes a fetus.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
