Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
