so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
