actually, I'm a sock model
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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