Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
