Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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