I CAN MOONWALK!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
