having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize