after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
