Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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