All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Randomize
