Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
