Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
