Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You work out of a Hotel?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
