I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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