All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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