SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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