That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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