apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
