You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
this just has baby written all over it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
