omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
