you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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