i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
so much tequila, so little girl.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
