Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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