He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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