i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
