Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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