Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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