Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.