New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.