so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.