Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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