This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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