So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
