do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
