And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
