I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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