using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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