would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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