I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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