Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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