Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
