i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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