...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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