The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
