Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dignity is for republicans.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
