The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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