I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
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YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
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Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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