I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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