her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
