she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
