When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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