Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
