he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
