She's JV to your varsity
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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