just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
