i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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