I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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