OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
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