Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize