So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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