Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
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sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
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I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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