I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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